Trailing spouses

The women who follow their husbands around on expat assignments (and let's face it, it's still mostly women doing the following) are apparently called "trailing spouses." So I guess I'm a trailing spouse (and as an aside is it just me or is "spouse" just too close to words like "mouse" and "louse" for comfort?). The big question for most trailing spouses is how to make some money and stay engaged in their careers while the husbands are working (and if applicable, and it usually is, the kids are in school).

I knew one woman in SF who asked me why I was worried about my career moving to Sweden, when I could just "spend my time exploring!!!!??" (include broad sweeping hand gestures with this comment). Well, exploring is all fine and good for the first month (or perhaps three if you live in Copenhagen and six if you were in Paris or Rome), but after that, I would argue, it's human nature to a) run out of money, b) want a routine and c) feel useful.

Pursuing (or should I say desperately trying to hang onto) your career is of course a challenge when you don't speak the language fluently and you aren't, say, a world-renowned musician whose calling is free from the constraints of language. Since this is Sweden, it's probably more forgiving than any other European country if you can't speak Swedish but can speak English, but it's still difficult for many women to find some way to make money and stay engaged in the working world.

I know women who teach yoga, clean houses, make hats out of recycled materials, work remotely for companies in the U.S. doing urban planning and graphic design, and teach at English-speaking preschools. I also know some who started their own businesses and a few who have "regular" jobs at Swedish companies where they speak English. And I know many women who are home full time because it's been too hard to find a job in Sweden.

Whatever their situation, I say let's hear it for all the trailing spouses out there who are finding ways, in the immortal words of Project Runway's Tim Gunn, to just ... "make it work!"